Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Judah’s birth day (part 2)

After I was all set up in the operating room, Justin came in.  They gave him a stool so he could sit down by my head.  I don’t remember us talking much.  I was shaking uncontrollably from nerves and from the medicine that was running through my body.  Justin told me later that the shaking freaked him out a little bit.  He wasn’t sure if that was normal, and it was very hard for him to see me like that.  I was just fine though! 


I felt lots and lots of pressure and tugging.  The doctor asked Justin if he would like to watch Judah be pulled out.  Justin stood up and looked over the curtain.. but sat right back down.  It was too much for him!  I can’t say I blame him on that one.  Once Judah was completely out, Justin stood up to see him, and they showed him to me.  I immediately started crying and saying “he’s perfect.. he’s just perfect”.  My doctor said she definitely underestimated his size. She had to make my incision larger than the average incision in order to get Judah out.  Poor baby ended up with a bruised head and arm.

Justin had my camera in there with him, so he went over to the area where the nurses were cleaning Judah up to take pics.  I could see everything from where I was.  I just stared and cried and was overcome with joy and happiness and gratitude.  My emotions and feelings really cannot be described. 



My anesthesiologist then took the camera from Justin so he could take a pic of the three of us together. 


After a couple minutes, it was time for me to get put back together while they took Judah to be cleaned up a little more and weighed and measured.  Justin went with the baby, and I stayed alone.. but I was so happy I didn’t care one bit!

Once in the nursery, Justin found out that our big guy weighed in at 8 lbs, 9 ounces and was 21 inches long.  Big Boy!



Justin then got to take him out to show to all of the family and friends that had waited for so long to meet him.  One of the doctors made a remark about how many people were there waiting around at midnight.  All I know is that Judah is one loved little boy!




During this time, I was rolled into recovery with warm blankets on me.  I was starting to get some feeling back in my legs and the shaking stopped a little bit.  Some of our family members came in to see me for a few minutes, but with it being so late, everyone left pretty quickly.  Justin and I just sat and waited for the nurse to bring our son in to see us.  The minutes dragged by so slowly.  Finally a nurse came in, but she didn’t have Judah with her.  She said she had some bad news.  My heart sank.  She said that Judah and I both had a fever right after he was born.  They weren’t sure what was causing the fever, but because I could be sick, I wouldn’t be allowed to see or hold Judah for at least 24 hours.

I broke down.  I cried and cried until my face was so swollen I almost couldn’t see.  I asked God why a million times.  I asked Justin why.  I knew this wasn’t the end of the world.  I knew that we were super blessed to have a healthy son.  I tried to remind myself that God was in control and that none of this surprised Him.  But I was still so upset.  I had carried this baby for 39 weeks, gone through almost 24 hours of labor, and then went through a c-section.  I couldn’t be okay with not getting my hands on him.  I needed to see him.

Justin and I both prayed.  I put a message on facebook for everyone I knew to see and asked for prayer.  Then I thought of Judah.  His name means “praise”.  I knew in that moment that I needed to give God praise.  I started focusing on the positive.  I started be grateful for all of the good things.  It definitely helped.  I stopped crying.  Justin just sat close and held my hand and comforted me.  He was upset too, but we knew the outcome of all of this would be good.  Everything was okay.

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