Saturday, August 21, 2010

brain dump

Well… As much as I want to get dressed and do some shopping, I know it’s tax free weekend and the stores are going to be crazy!  So instead I figured I would write a blog post.  But nothing in particular comes to mind… so this is going to be one of those random thought posts.

-First thought on my mind today is that it’s my fabulous friend’s birthday.  Happy Birthday, Lacey!!!  I know you are going to have a great day celebrating with your family on the lake.  I love you and miss you and wish I was there!

-Speaking of missing people… I miss my family.  Living away from them has definitely gotten easiER, but it’s still not easy.  I’ve been talking lots about going home to visit lately, and Justin just doesn’t understand.  I know we were just there in June, but I’m having family time withdrawals!  :(

-Even my family that lives close (Candice, Dom, Ava) I rarely see.  I hate that.  I thought surely once they moved closer we would hang out all the time.  But nope… life is just too busy.  I hate busyness.

-I did see Candice and Ava for lunch not long ago though.  We met up at a Chili’s halfway between us and had such a good (but too short) time.  Every time I see Ava I am just amazed at how much more she looks and acts like a big girl.  No more baby.  That makes me sad.  But I’m super happy and proud that she is growing up into such a healthy and smart little girl.  My love for her makes my heart hurt.


-Thinking about my love for Ava makes me ache even more for a child, actually children, of my own.  I know the time is coming soon, but it just can’t come soon enough.  Lately I’ve been getting teary-eyed and emotional just thinking about what it will be like to find out we are expecting and then to finally hold that little blessing in my arms.  I have been praying over our baby that doesn’t even exist yet in this world.  I have been pouring over baby girl names in my head trying to find something I love.  It’s not working. All I can say is, I hope it’s a boy the first time.  We have two boy names already.  :).

-On October 31st of last year while I was at OneVoice, our college and career service, I heard God speak to me so clearly. I was surprised, really, because I rarely ever hear Him in such a distinct way.  But what I heard that night was that I would have to long after God like I long for children—and only then would I be able to have them.  To be honest, that scared the mess out of me.  I knew how deep my desire was to have kids.  And at that point I was pretty apathetic about my relationship with the Lord.  I was going to church and staying away from all the “big” sins, but I wasn’t walking with Him.  And I surely wasn’t longing for Him.  I thought that night that I would never get to have children because I would never long for God as much as I longed to have a family of my own.  Amazingly enough in the last couple of months, God has worked a miracle in me.  He has rekindled the fire in my heart for more of Him, for ministry, and for praying.  He has given me dreams and has started showing me a little piece of my calling.  I have been learning about intercession and what it means to be an intercessor.  It’s all very exciting!  Not to mention… I know now that I get to have babies!  Yay!!!  God is good <3

-I just realized I totally forgot to blog about it, but my honey turned 23 earlier this month!  His birthday was August 13th.  We didn’t really get to do much because he was in school and had to work that night… but I did make him a birthday cake and took it up to his school.  It was a pretty sad decorating job, but it was my first attempt.  It tasted good anyway.


I had no clue what to get him as a gift.. but after talking to a few friends, I ordered him two books from Amazon that will help him study the Word.  He has been wanting to look up the original meaning of words from the Greek, and now he can!

-I’m back in school.  My first day will be Tuesday.  I said I didn’t ever want to go back to school, and here I go.  But this is different.  I’m going to be taking a night class that is only one night a week on Tuesdays.  One of my favorite pastors from Heartland, Pastor Al, is teaching it.  I can’t wait!

1 comment:

Megan said...

Your conviction about desiring the Lord more than that of a child really touched my heart. I don't think I've heard it better said! (or written!)
As you know our hearts have longed for another blessing for almost 2 years now and though I am walking with the Lord it never occurred to me that I need to desire Him more. I always had them on different scales. A child as a flesh desire and God on a spiritual desire.
I have put into this into practice and it has been such a HUGE blessing! I feel so at peace with our circumstances. So much more than ever before!
Thanks for pouring out your heart! I miss your little blog posts, but know you are very busy!
Keep on keeping on!!